The time is now.

For over a year I have been contemplating taking my life, today is the day. I stayed home from school. Last night, I told my therapist everything. She told me step out of any situation I was in and I did. That back fired. I lost four best friends, officially today. Their names? Jessica, Andiyah, Keaghan, and Andrea. All people who I trusted. Today, I lost Jessica because of Keaghan. I lost Keaghan because of Andrea. I lost Andiyah because of Jessica. I lost Andrea because of myself. Foolish. Foolish nonsense. I am not taking my life because I lost them. I am killing myself because I am sick of this world. I am sick of what has happened. I am sick of being fat and stupid. My depression is killing me. I am sick of pretending like everything is ok. I am sick of faking everything. I am sick of living. I am sick of living in a world that does nothing. All I wanted to do with my life was to make everyone happy, when in return I ended up slowly killing my soul. I am numb. The knife I used to cut my wrist wasn’t sharp enough for me to feel any pain. Dear God, please don’t let me wake up in the morning. Please let me die. Let me join you in the sky. Let me live in a world in which I want to be in. No longer do I wish to see the sun or the moon, all I want is death. I want to die. I need to die. I can not live knowing that I will never be good enough for this world. Please, Lord, let me die.

I wish my weight is as low as my self esteem.

prettypeopledonteat:

I would probably be dead

(Source: big-fat-skinny-secret, via prettypeopledonteat)